


these little words, somehow they're changing us

by EastOfEll



Series: a fluid renaissance [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, nb!Alex, specifically nonbinary lesbian alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 04:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11478327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastOfEll/pseuds/EastOfEll
Summary: alex realizes something and has a talk with maggie on it. short and sweet.





	these little words, somehow they're changing us

**Author's Note:**

> if you've known me for like two seconds you probably know that i feel like a lot of nonbinary!sanvers fics fall short because i always feel like people are erasing the lesbian aspect of alex and/or maggie to make room for the nonbinary part. but the two aren't mutually exclusive! you can be nonbinary AND a lesbian, and i say that as a prime example. so i wrote this not only to make alex nonbinary (an amazing concept), but also keep the lesbian part of her identity, because that's just as important. it ain't cool to erase it, folks.
> 
> anyway, i'm sapphics on tumblr and alixdanvers on twitter if you ever wanna reach out :) enjoy!

When Alex and Maggie got home from their early morning run, Maggie could tell something was off.

 

“Something the matter?” she asks.

 

“No, I’m fine,” Alex says, but Maggie hears the telltale lilt in her voice to know it’s a lie. Maggie knows better than to pry something out of her, though, so she just hums in response, getting out the ingredients for the pancakes Maggie makes for every breakfast after a run.

 

“Can I help?” Alex asks.

 

“You can sit on the other side of the counter and tell me if you want chocolate or blueberry.”

 

Alex pouts. “Blueberry, I guess.”

 

“No chocolate?”

 

“I’m not a big fan of chocolate,” Alex admits. “Too sweet for me.”

 

Maggie puts the spatula in her hand over her heart in fake offense. “But chocolate pancakes are the  _ best _ .”

 

“You only like it because you’re not allowed to have chocolate,” Alex says, and Maggie shrugs, knowing she’s right.

 

“Makes it taste better,” is Maggie’s excuse. 

 

Even after making and eating a meal, though, Maggie could still tell something was on Alex’s mind.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maggie asks. “You only ate about half of your pancakes. I know you’re always starving after you run.”

 

She reaches her hand halfway across the table, palm up, and Alex takes it, lacing their fingers tentatively. “It’s not…  _ that  _ important.”

 

“Hey, if it’s important enough for you to have that little worry line you get when you’re stressed about something,” Maggie says, tracing her finger in the air where she sees the line in question, resting on Alex’s forehead, “then it’s important to me, too.”

 

“Can we take this to the couch?”

 

Maggie laughs. “Of course.” Important talks happen on the couch. (Maggie makes sure her and Alex’s hands don’t separate as they walk towards it.)

 

When both of them have sat down, Alex looks at Maggie, who has an eyebrow raised in genuine curiosity. So she starts with, “So, I’ve been reading some LGBT things online.”

 

“Did you take my advice on that?” Maggie asks.

 

Alex sighs. “Yes, Maggie, I stayed away from Buzzfeed.”

 

“Good,” Maggie says, “some of that stuff is honest-to-god embarrassing.”

 

“That one video of giving drunk people puppies is funny, though…” Alex shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair, getting back on topic. “Anyway, I was looking at some gender stuff.”

 

“And?”

 

“I just.” Alex takes Maggie’s other hand so that both of their hands are occupied. “I was reading some pieces about people who identified as… nonbinary.”

 

“Do you think you’re nonbinary?” prods Maggie.

 

“I… I want to be,” Alex admits. “Except I still feel… gay, you know?” She takes her hands and starts wringing them together, closing in on herself. “When I see other women―”

 

Maggie raises her eyebrows in playful offense.

 

“Okay, smart ass.” Alex gives out a huff of nervous laughter, rolling her eyes on instinct. “Mostly when I see  _ you _ , I still get that… ‘Wow, I’m super gay’ feeling. You know what I mean? I can’t really describe it.”

 

Maggie nods. “I understand.”

 

Alex continues. “Yeah, so I’m not, like, completely genderless or anything, and I’m  _ definitely  _ not a trans man. I still… feel like a woman. Only it’s just sometimes, or partially.”

 

“You know,” Maggie says, “you can be both.”

 

“What?” Alex, who had been looking anywhere  _ but  _ Maggie during her speech, now looks her girlfriend in the eyes.

 

“Yeah. You can totally be nonbinary and a lesbian. As long as you don’t ever feel like a man―”

 

“Which I  _ don’t _ ,” Alex reiterates. 

 

“―then do you think you could be a nonbinary lesbian?”

 

“I… um… yeah. I think I could be.”

 

Maggie gives Alex a warm smile, tilting her head in thought. “Do you want me to do anything for you? A new name, new pronouns?”

 

“Well,” Alex thinks, “I don’t need a new name. I like Alex. It’s not too girly, and it’s just… who I am. Could you, um, maybe use they/them pronouns?”

 

“Of course,” Maggie says.

 

“Just when it’s us, though,” Alex adds in quickly. “I… I want baby steps.” They sigh. “Even if some of our friends are telepaths.”

 

“I’m sure J’onn and M’gann won’t ask what they know isn’t their business,” Maggie comforts.

 

“I also… uh…” Alex looks down, a small blush forming, “I may have been looking at binders.”

 

“Like a chest binder?” Maggie asks, and Alex nods, eyes remaining downcast, lips pursed. “Hey, don’t feel bad! That’s not inherently masculine or anything. In fact, I know butch lesbians who are cisgender and wear binders. If it’s want you want, don’t be ashamed. I’ll support you.”

 

“It’s not that I want to wear it all the time, I just… want one. I don’t hate my chest― I know you don’t either―” 

 

Maggie nods vehemently. 

 

“It just feels weird,” Alex continues, “wanting to be a lesbian  _ and  _ wanting to use gender neutral pronouns,  _ and  _ wanting a binder,  _ and  _ wanting to be nonbinary.”

 

“Look,” Maggie says, and she cups Alex’s chin softly, her fingertips barely grazing skin, so Alex can look Maggie in the eye. “I’ll be real; I don’t know what you’re going through, as someone who feels incredibly comfortable in being a woman. But I’ve also been in the lesbian community for over a decade, and from what I’ve seen, I can tell you this: lesbians defy gender norms all the time. Whether they call themselves butch, or nonbinary, or gender nonconforming… you’re not weird for wanting to step out of the binary. In fact, a lot of lesbians encourage it.”

 

“Really?” Alex’s voice is small, but hopeful.

 

“Yeah,” Maggie says. “I can show you pictures of when I was a freshman in college and I had a pixie cut.”

 

“But you love your hair!” Alex laughs.

 

“Exactly! But I didn’t grow it back out because I have to look a certain way as a lesbian, I grew it back out because I like having long hair. If you wanted to get a buzzcut, I’d be at the barber’s cheering you on.”

 

“I don’t think I want a buzzcut,” Alex says, a giggle in their tone, “but I haven’t gotten a haircut in several months and I probably need to go get one soon, now that you mention it, actually.”

 

“And I’ll be there, cheering you on,” Maggie repeats.

 

“My little cheerleader,” Alex jokes.

 

Maggie’s eye narrow. “No, I’m your normal sized cheerleader.”

 

“Whatever you want, babe.”

 

Maggie sheds her teasing expression after a few moments, and her eyes grow serious again. “Really, though. What do you want? Do  _ you  _ like being called babe? Or girlfriend? If you’re using your binder―”

 

“Hey.” Alex stops Maggie with their hand, touching her thigh as an indication to stop. “Like I said before… I’m taking baby steps. If I’m ever uncomfortable with something, I’ll tell you as soon as possible, okay?”

 

“Okay. I’m good with that.” Maggie puts her hand on top of Alex’s. “I do have one more question, though.”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you comfortable with conserving water and showering with me?”


End file.
